


resist everything except temptation

by DrowningInStarlight



Series: Tales From the Naughty Admiral [1]
Category: Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Burlesque Club, Burlesque, Families of Choice, Fluff, Friendship, Multi, Mutual Pining, This really got away from me, oh well my canon now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2019-06-23
Packaged: 2020-05-18 10:02:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19332310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrowningInStarlight/pseuds/DrowningInStarlight
Summary: Tucked away on a side street lies a little burlesque club. The Naughty Admiral, the sign over the door reads, and inside, people are learning how to be a family.(Or, a burlesque au featuring an opening night, found family, and some good old pining!)





	resist everything except temptation

**Author's Note:**

> Massive shoutout to the rqdbfc for co-creating this au, to jaime for coming up with a bunch of ideas that will come up later (👀) and to luna for beta reading! 
> 
> title from an Oscar Wilde quote, because I love that we can do that

The Naughty Admiral wasn't much. It was a little dingy on the outside; clean, but clearly in need of a coat of paint Zolf didn't have the money to give it. (He refused to ask Wilde. It was bad enough having to deal with his "monthly inspections"-- apparently an investor's privilege-- let alone talking to the man about anything else.) The sign was newly painted, though, and Zolf knew without a doubt they had the best dancers in the city. It was _his_ , and that was what mattered. 

Well, his name was on the papers, but it had always been as much Sasha's as it was his. Maybe he'd helped her off the streets after she'd run away from her family, but she'd been there through... a lot. His accident, for starters, but then on through the nightmare process that had been getting the Naughty Admiral up and running. She'd alternately stopped him from killing Oscar Wilde and offered to kill him herself, sat through Zolf's agonising over premises, decor and dancers, and also painted the sign that stood so bold over the door. 

(Wilde had chosen the name. Zolf hadn't had the energy to fight over it.) 

But they'd got here. And now Zolf could stand out on the pavement in the afternoon sunshine and read the _What's On_ sign by the door declaring that the Rangers would be performing at nine. _They're still working on the name_ had been tacked on in Sasha's distinctive scrawl, and someone (almost certainly Azu) had drawn little pink hearts on it and Zolf still couldn't believe that they'd got here, but somehow, they _had_. 

He took a deep breath, and pushed open the door. It was time to get started. 

 

___

 

Inside, there was exactly as much chaos as could be expected from the afternoon before a grand opening. He hadn't seen Sasha all day. That in itself wasn't particularly unusual, but normally when she disappeared she was also absolutely soundless-- today he'd heard a colourful variety of swearing coming from backstage that could only be her. The expression _swear like a sailor_ should be changed to _swear like Sasha_ and look, he was a sailor, he should know. 

It was only a small venue, everyone pitched in to make things work whether it was technically their job or not. Sasha had listened to him complain, chosen colours for him when he was taking too long, and painted the sign-- but what she was really good at was the technical stuff. She understood it like no one else Zolf had ever met. She loved it, too, and he trusted her. People often didn't understand why, she was rude and defensive and inclined to steal stuff or trespass or ignore everyone and hide away in the shadows, but Zolf had learnt to stop caring what people thought around the same time he'd lost his leg. He understood her, and he trusted her. 

So he just stuck his head through the stage door, shouted "Give me a shout if you need a hand!" and let her get on with things her way. Sasha thrived when she was given space to work, and Zolf knew really he was never much help anyway. She'd find him if she needed something.

There were only two dressing rooms. Hamid and Azu were supposed to have one each, but they always seemed happier when they were sharing. The door was shut, but it couldn't muffle the sound of hysterical laughter coming from inside. 

Zolf knocked, a little awkwardly. The dressing rooms were always busy and lively, Hamid and Azu were magnets for domesticity. Zolf always felt guilty, like he was going to ruin them, drag them down with him. They were both incredibly talented, but for some reason they were _here_ , at the Naughty Admiral. Zolf loved this place, but it was _his,_ of course he did. He knew they could better. But they didn't seem to want to. 

The door opened so suddenly Zolf jumped. He was confronted with Azu, who, still laughing, pulled him inside. 

"Zolf," she said, "Zolf, you've got to see this-- Hamid and Grizzop are the same size, and..." She gestured towards the mirrors across the room.

Zolf was a little wary of where this was going, but he followed Azu's gaze anyway. Hamid, wearing a fluffy pink dressing gown that was almost twice his size, was trying to apply make-up to Grizzop, who was too busy posing in the mirror to stay still. The goblin was also wearing Hamid's bronzed-gold dress, glitter and all. 

"Hi Zolf!" Grizzop said, not at all phased by the appearance of his literal boss. "Just giving Hamid here a hand with his costume. Not my usual style, but I think I could pull it off. Say hello to the Silver Arrow!" 

"That's _awful_ ," Hamid groaned, sitting back on his heels. 

"Oh, you do not get to talk," Grizzop said. "I saw the list of names you rejected. Silver Arrow is a hell of a lot better than _Fiery Fling._ "

"No it isn't," Hamid said. "Besides, I went with Peacock Flame in the end!" He leant back in and brushed something over Grizzop, making the goblin's ears twitch. "You actually look really good, though-- oh, wait a second, here--" Hamid produced the little bronze circlet he normally wore while performing to keep his hair in place, and balanced it carefully between Grizzop's ears. 

"Cheers, Hamid," Grizzop said. "I'm going to show Sasha, she'll think this is hilarious--" he rushed off past Zolf. 

"Well," Zolf said, staring after him. "You're all having a good time." 

"Oh, Zolf," Hamid said, "Grizzop tried to copy Azu's routine just before you came in and just..." he broke off in laughing again. "Don't _ever_ let him on stage."

"It's lucky he's such a good bouncer then," Zolf said dryly. Grizzop was one of Sasha's friends from the streets, and when Zolf had been looking for security staff she'd told him she knew a guy. 

("Break people's kneecaps as soon as looking at them, will old Grizzop," she'd said. "Only if he thinks it's, y'know, right, though. But I reckon he thinks a lot of people are bad, because he's _very_ attack-y. He'll fit in great.") 

Safety was the priority at the Naughty Admiral. He still wasn't convinced that Bertie wouldn't try to drop by again. It was actually written into the place's guidelines that Sir Bertrand McGuffingham was pre-emptively, and permanently, banned. Grizzop was a comforting person to have on the door. "But if we ever need an extra dancer, I suppose..." Zolf continued. 

Hamid beamed at him. "That's the spirit, Zolf!" His smile was as warm as dragon fire, and Zolf had to look away. 

Unfortunately, where he looked away too was Azu's face, who smiled knowingly at him. Azu was tall, loving, and an excellent dancer. She was also a little too good at picking up on the dynamics between people sometimes. She'd spotted his, he refused to call it a crush-- his _thing_ \-- gods that was worse. The fact he _liked_ Hamid-- alarmingly quickly. 

("You'd be good for him," she'd said once.  
Zolf had just shaken his head. _He deserves better,_ he didn't say. _Gods, but he deserves so much better than me._ He didn't say it, but from the look on Azu's face she'd understood it anyway.) 

"Well, I'd better retrieve my dress," Hamid said, hitching up the dressing gown so he could walk without tripping. "Azu, darling, d'you mind if I carry on borrowing this?"

"Oh, of course," Azu said. "I won't need it til later anyway. Go, find your clothes!" 

"I will!" Hamid said, hurrying towards the door. He paused by Zolf, and for a moment Zolf thought Hamid was going to kiss his cheek, but apparently the halfling settled for a pat on the arm. "Good luck for tonight, Zolf," he said. 

"Why are you wishing me good luck? I'm just going to be watching the bar," Zolf said bluntly, a little flustered. "I've done my bit. Good luck to _you._ " 

Hamid acknowledged him with another blazing smile, and then he was gone. 

 

___

 

Oscar Wilde showed up half an hour before the doors opened. He had flowers for the dancers, and Zolf gladly handed him over to Azu and went to find Sasha. 

He found her perched up a stepladder just off the stage. 

"Everything alright?" he called over, and she leapt down gracefully. She'd be an excellent dancer, Zolf had always reckoned, but she always avoided the stage like a plague, so he'd never mentioned it. She kept her name off everything she could, as well, and Zolf always did his best to accommodate her. 

(He still remembered the first time he'd let her use his surname. They'd been living together a few months, when Zolf's nightmares were at their worst, and she hadn't trusted him to leave the house alone, so she ended up going with him to the supermarket.

"What's your full name, dearie?" the lady at the checkout had asked. "Just so we know who you are." Zolf knew this little old woman didn't mean anything by it, this was just _Sainsbury's_ , but the terror on Sasha's face so unmistakable Zolf had to do _something._

"Um, Sasha-- Sasha, er..." she stuttered, and from behind the lady Zolf had pointed frantically to himself and back at Sasha. Sasha had only stared back in panic, and Zolf had struggled to remember the little bit of sign language he'd ever learnt. _Name, me, you_ \-- Sasha's face lit up with understanding. 

"Sasha Smith," she said, and the lady had written it on the card with a flourish. 

"Now, just you remember to swipe it whenever you buy something," she said, giving it to Sasha. "And you'll collect points!" Sasha had grabbed it and practically ran. 

When Zolf caught up with her outside, she'd give him an apprehensive look, arms folded tight around herself. 

"Look, I'm not gonna ask," Zolf said. "It's none of my business." 

"S'not like it really matters anyway," she muttered, staring down at the tarmac. "Just some people recognise Rackett that I'd rather didn't and I just don't want to deal with that when I'm just _shopping_ and..." 

He shuffled over and stared at the ground next to her. "Sasha, it's fine. You can't use your last name? Fine, borrow mine. I can't seem to sleep through the night without screaming the place down? Fine, you just wake me up before the neighbours call the police. It's _fine._ " He glanced at her sideways, testing, as he said " _We're_ fine." 

"Yeah," she said slowly, not smiling, but uncurling from her hunched lean into something that was, for Sasha, more relaxed. "Yeah, alright. Alright. D'you fancy eel pie for dinner?")

"'S'all done," Sasha told him. "Lights, music cues, the lot. Has Wilde turned up yet?" 

"Yeah, I let Azu deal with him," Zolf said. "She seems to actually like him, or something." 

"Azu likes everyone," Sasha said. "I dunno how she does it."

"Me neither." 

A comfortable silence fell between them as Zolf surveyed the little room. The bar was polished and clean in one corner, and Sasha was endlessly ingenious with rigging up things to make the show run more smoothly. Zolf was reminded suddenly of the first ship he'd ever sailed on, a brave little ship made of smooth brown wood. It had been old, and looking back he understood how challenging it must have been to keep running, but back then he'd just loved it, honestly and uncomplicatedly. It had carried him away to sea, how could he not have loved it? 

The stage door opened and Hamid joined them quietly. He'd got his costume back from Grizzop, and Zolf noticed when he moved the light caught dragon scales picked out in gold around his eyes. 

"I can't believe we're really here," he said. 

Zolf shook his head. "Neither can I." 

"I can't believe that no one's killed Wilde yet," Sasha said, and Zolf snorted. 

"I've got close," he said. 

"I think we all have," Hamid agreed. "But still... We did it." 

"Still got to get through tonight before we can say that," Zolf pointed out, and Hamid batted his arm. 

"I'm trying to have a moment here, guys!" 

"Good luck with that," Sasha mumbled, and Hamid huffed in mock indignation. 

"You're both awful." 

"We're delightful," Zolf said. 

Hamid sighed. "You are, and I love you both very much. But for two people working in theatre, you have absolutely no sense of dramatic timing." 

The door from the little lobby slammed open, and Grizzop stuck his head in. "There's people out here!" he shrieked across the room. "You'd better get moving!" 

"Talking of dramatic timing," Zolf said to Hamid. Hamid rolled his eyes, but he smiled, too. 

 

___

 

The crowd wasn't huge, mainly just people from the local burlesque scene, but it still felt like a lot after the Naughty Admiral had been empty for so long. It felt strange seeing people mingling at the bar, like wandering into a ghost ship only to see it fully manned again, like they'd never left it dead in the water. 

It wasn't bad, though. It wasn't bad at all.

Zolf lost track of time a little as the evening passed. Azu danced first. The crowd went wild for Aphrodite's Dove, they way he'd always known they would. She was lovely, and confident, and Zolf was very gay but he knew she was beautiful. 

Then it was Hamid, drenched in gold and glitter, teasing and playing the crowd with practised grace. Zolf was transfixed, but he noticed he wasn't the only one. Maybe the Naughty Admiral wasn't much, but Zolf knew damn well they had the best dancers, and now everyone else knew it too. 

The show passed quickly, and as soon as it was over Sasha appeared at Zolf's side to nudge him and mumble jokes he was sure she'd picked up from Wilde. Slowly, soaked in colour, the night passed. 

 

___

 

They ordered pizza after closing time. It was so late it was early, but everyone was too keyed up to sleep. They were up in the little attic room that was technically supposed to be Zolf's office, but had become more of a general living space when they'd been fixing up downstairs. It even had a sofa, and everything, not that anyone apart from him was actually using it.

Azu was stretched out on the floor, staring up at the ceiling. Grizzop was crossways from her, his head on her stomach. Sasha was perched on Zolf's desk, a piece of pizza in each hand.

"--yeah, that was the first I ever got drunk," Hamid was saying. "My parents were so angry with me and my sisters, we were banned from attending their parties for years--" Zolf couldn't take his eyes off him. Hamid looked radiant, drunk on adrenaline, traces of gold still lingering around his eyes. He'd draped himself over the desk chair, illustrating his story with sweeping gestures. 

Zolf had noticed that Hamid didn't really talk about his parents in the present tense. They were still alive, so that wasn't it, but Zolf had been friends with Sasha long enough to get good at _not asking_. Hamid's face always shone, however, when he was talking about his siblings. It was shining now. 

"Oh gods, the first time I got drunk was with my brother too," Azu said from the floor. "My dad used to brew his own whiskey in our back garden and wow, it was strong, even for orcs."

"Well, first time I got drunk was also on orcish moonshine," Grizzop piped up, "And that stuff is not brewed with goblins in mind." 

"It really _is not_ ," Azu said, with a laugh. 

Even Sasha joined in, telling a convoluted story about her and Brock at fifteen years old, and she _never_ talked about Brock. She'd told him enough, one night, when they'd both given up on sleeping and turned the flat into a fort against the outside world. If Zolf could turn back time, he would _drown_ the rest of Sasha's family in a _bucket_. 

It was easier to think about that, to let his feelings melt into anger and protectiveness, than it was to think about Feryn's eighteenth birthday. He didn't want to think about sharing drinks on the green and the way he'd quietly confessed, drunk for the first time in his life, that he wanted to go to sea. He didn't want to think about the way Feryn had grabbed his shoulder and said, with sparkling eyes, "Don't forget-- that's where worse things happen." 

But it hadn't been, because Feryn had died right there on dry land. He didn't want to think about it.

He didn't know what expression he'd been making, but he suddenly noticed everyone was looking at him. 

"You alright, boss?" Sasha asked with a studied casualness he'd heard too many times before.

"Yeah-- yeah. I'm fine." 

"Are you sure, Zolf?" Azu asked. She'd pushed herself up onto her elbows, and was watching him with concern.

"I'm fine," he repeated. "Carry on. I'm fine." 

Azu and Sasha exchanged glances, and Zolf caught Grizzop making meaningful eyebrows at Hamid. Zolf resisted the childish temptation to huff and cross his arms. 

The conversation did trickle back in, though, and Zolf let it wash over him. He almost didn't notice Hamid quietly slipping off his chair and climbing up on the sofa. It was only when he felt a hand on his wrist that he looked up. The touch wasn't demanding, just light and warm. Hamid was always warm, like his blood had been replaced with liquid fire. 

"Hey, Hamid," Zolf said softly. 

"Hi," Hamid said. He visibly stifled a yawn. "Sorry. Think I'm crashing after all the adrenaline earlier." 

His sleepy eyes were like a riptide, and _gods_ but Zolf had never been able to help loving the things that carried him away to sea. Zolf put his arm around Hamid. He relaxed into Zolf's side like he belonged there. 

Outside, dawn broke over the Naughty Admiral. Maybe it wasn't much, but it was home.

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr @drowninginstarlights!


End file.
